We've kind of been in transition for about a year now. We left a really wonderful church (lighthouse in Sandwich) and there are a great many things we miss about that church. But we just felt socially we just we're not clicking. My teens were really lonely as homeschoolers we needed for them to have friends that were Christians. They have friends that are not Christian but it's important to have friends that are fighting the good fight. The church was always my social life so it was really tough,when there wasn't that social network. I think part of it was how small the church was. We attended for 6 years. I told the Pastor's wife about 6 months before we actually left that we were thinking of leaving and why. It was really tough because they didn't want us to go and really made us feel loved by how much they showed they didn't want us to go. But Chris and I felt God was at least telling us to look. We also counseled with people that we respected it was a long, hard, decision.We're still not sure if returning there is what we will ultimately do.
So we spent the last year looking at churches.
Our list was pretty simple
real worship
good bible studies- Where there is a freedom to push back,ask questions with out being labeled a rebel so we can work out our salvations with fear and trembling. Bible studies have been the number one outlet in helping us grow ,change so this is really important to us.
good childrens program
good teen program
Good solid preaching- leaving the opinions and bogus generalizations at home. Stick to the word it's just wisdom to let God do the speaking.
modern- ( if possible we knew this would be hard to find on the Cape)I think we were meant to be all things to all men. How is an unchurched person going to even be interested in dressing up (most of us are pretty casual these days even in the work place) sitting through terrible music and long christian lingo laden sermon on their day off? I know I struggle with it and I consider myself a dedicated Christian. Modern music can be just as spiritual if you pick songs that are scriptural. Something like this family worship Where the men don't' sound like their wearing too tight pants if you get my drift. I have nothing against a mix I think it's respective of the people attending but at least have something people can connect with and singing modern songs but still singing them like you sing hymns doesn't count.
Please please leave off the weird super spiritual stuff and just KISS (keep it simple stupid) remember that God said the number one things we need to be doing is loving on him and others. When you start having all these legalistic things that would just seem bizarre to an unchurched(heck they seem bizarre to me!) person, it just makes me think of the pharisees(these real self righteous stinkers who liked to make up new rules for people to follow that had nothing to do with God. These people SUPER ticked Jesus off I mean he had a fit over them,calling them names and denouncing them publicly. He never did that with regular people he had a lot more grace.)
I found this blog today Beyond relevance
and I so agreed with what he said about the majority of churches in America are functioning as if this were still the 1950s. I don't think we were meant to have mega churches(super large churches) I think its a phenomena of us only having a few churches that are modern enough to appeal to the unchurched. We are called to be all things to all men...
real people -meaning people who are aware of their own sinfulness. I find non Christians are a LOT more honest in that way. I will scream if I hear one more time that "We love you too much to leave you this way." Well who died and left you God? Do you want to hear what I see in your life? doubtful because you think you are so much more spiritual then me. I'm made in the image of God and there is a lot more to me and others then OUR pea sized brains can handle. I try to remember that... I am a screw up of the first degree and need lots of grace. But I still fall into thinking I know what someone else needs to do,but God always seems to humble me and make me remember who I am. I swear every time I get self righteous about something someone is doing I fall in to it or he shows me that thing in my life. This post seems a bit self righteous so I wonder what I'm going to learn next LOL! Anyway back to my vent.... (yes I'm a stubborn mule)
The Jesus I see portrayed in the bible is one who accepted people as they are and he usually only offered advice when a person asked for it. I personally think the biggest impact you can have on a person's life is to get to know them and let them get to know you. If you truly have something to offer sooner or later it will come up. People are a LOT more open to people that know and care for them then people just doing their christian duty Blaech!!! I find for the most part if you are real in church all that seems to happen is people look down on you. People need to be real because they have real issues that need real answers.
We could never find a church that had all that. We didn't really expect to,we thought God would lead us just where we should go....
So here we are almost a year later and still no direction. I don't know what God's doing or what we are some how missing. We've been attending a church for over 6 months now. It has FANTASTIC children programs. It's a nice church but I don't think it's our home ,mostly because of doctrinal differences. I'm taking the next few Sundays to take one last look around but I'm pretty discouraged. Chris wants us to make a solid decision and stick to it. We're not good pew sitters or church hoppers (my first church I attended 18 years!) we like to be involved and help. So we want to settle ,let the kids settle etc..
I feel like this is a huge decision and I wish God would pipe in. My husband thinks that no matter where we decide it's still in the will of God so he's leaving it up to us. Kind of like marriage I think most of us go into still having doubts but it's the love that makes you take that chance and work to build something. I know when we make a final decision I am going to leave off the critiques and complaints and do my best to fill what ever I think is lacking or be more accepting. I'm not always right right??? LOL! Honestly,truly I know I still have a LOT to learn. I am determined that is the tude I am going to take. I'm going to work it like I work my marriage with the same love and forgiveness.
Someone sent me a great link today I found it very helpful How to find a church
Here's a video from that blog I spoke of. I could so connect when he said God spoke to him and said you know I'm real and I'm more then this (Church service he was in.)
Here is a funny one from the same blog.
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