New Church

Please note this disclaimer before you read this blog post. What I wrote here isn't a reflection of any one church rather a collective of my experiences with the church world. Every church I have attended there were things I loved about it and things I had issues with. I think the church is a reflection of the people attending,there will never be a perfect church as we are not perfect people. Some of it is a bit harsh as I've been really frustrated,I truly get why people stop going to church now. I'm not going to but I get it. I'm probably in need of an attitude adjustment but I think people just think your sour no matter what,if you dare to criticize the church. So now go ahead and read if you dare....


We've kind of been in transition for about a year now. We left a really wonderful church (lighthouse in Sandwich) and there are a great many things we miss about that church. But we just felt socially we just we're not clicking. My teens were really lonely as homeschoolers we needed for them to have friends that were Christians. They have friends that are not Christian but it's important to have friends that are fighting the good fight. The church was always my social life so it was really tough,when there wasn't that social network. I think part of it was how small the church was. We attended for 6 years. I told the Pastor's wife about 6 months before we actually left that we were thinking of leaving and why. It was really tough because they didn't want us to go and really made us feel loved by how much they showed they didn't want us to go. But Chris and I felt God was at least telling us to look. We also counseled with people that we respected it was a long, hard, decision.We're still not sure if returning there is what we will ultimately do.


So we spent the last year looking at churches.
Our list was pretty simple
real worship
good bible studies- Where there is a freedom to push back,ask questions with out being labeled a rebel so we can work out our salvations with fear and trembling. Bible studies have been the number one outlet in helping us grow ,change so this is really important to us.
good childrens program
good teen program
Good solid preaching- leaving the opinions and bogus generalizations at home. Stick to the word it's just wisdom to let God do the speaking.
modern- ( if possible we knew this would be hard to find on the Cape)I think we were meant to be all things to all men. How is an unchurched person going to even be interested in dressing up (most of us are pretty casual these days even in the work place) sitting through terrible music and long christian lingo laden sermon on their day off? I know I struggle with it and I consider myself a dedicated Christian. Modern music can be just as spiritual if you pick songs that are scriptural. Something like this family worship Where the men don't' sound like their wearing too tight pants if you get my drift. I have nothing against a mix I think it's respective of the people attending but at least have something people can connect with and singing modern songs but still singing them like you sing hymns doesn't count.

Please please leave off the weird super spiritual stuff and just KISS (keep it simple stupid) remember that God said the number one things we need to be doing is loving on him and others. When you start having all these legalistic things that would just seem bizarre to an unchurched(heck they seem bizarre to me!) person, it just makes me think of the pharisees(these real self righteous stinkers who liked to make up new rules for people to follow that had nothing to do with God. These people SUPER ticked Jesus off I mean he had a fit over them,calling them names and denouncing them publicly. He never did that with regular people he had a lot more grace.)
I found this blog today Beyond relevance
and I so agreed with what he said about the majority of churches in America are functioning as if this were still the 1950s. I don't think we were meant to have mega churches(super large churches) I think its a phenomena of us only having a few churches that are modern enough to appeal to the unchurched. We are called to be all things to all men...

real people -meaning people who are aware of their own sinfulness. I find non Christians are a LOT more honest in that way. I will scream if I hear one more time that "We love you too much to leave you this way." Well who died and left you God? Do you want to hear what I see in your life? doubtful because you think you are so much more spiritual then me. I'm made in the image of God and there is a lot more to me and others then OUR pea sized brains can handle. I try to remember that... I am a screw up of the first degree and need lots of grace. But I still fall into thinking I know what someone else needs to do,but God always seems to humble me and make me remember who I am. I swear every time I get self righteous about something someone is doing I fall in to it or he shows me that thing in my life. This post seems a bit self righteous so I wonder what I'm going to learn next LOL! Anyway back to my vent.... (yes I'm a stubborn mule)
The Jesus I see portrayed in the bible is one who accepted people as they are and he usually only offered advice when a person asked for it. I personally think the biggest impact you can have on a person's life is to get to know them and let them get to know you. If you truly have something to offer sooner or later it will come up. People are a LOT more open to people that know and care for them then people just doing their christian duty Blaech!!! I find for the most part if you are real in church all that seems to happen is people look down on you. People need to be real because they have real issues that need real answers.






We could never find a church that had all that. We didn't really expect to,we thought God would lead us just where we should go....

So here we are almost a year later and still no direction. I don't know what God's doing or what we are some how missing. We've been attending a church for over 6 months now. It has FANTASTIC children programs. It's a nice church but I don't think it's our home ,mostly because of doctrinal differences. I'm taking the next few Sundays to take one last look around but I'm pretty discouraged. Chris wants us to make a solid decision and stick to it. We're not good pew sitters or church hoppers (my first church I attended 18 years!) we like to be involved and help. So we want to settle ,let the kids settle etc..

I feel like this is a huge decision and I wish God would pipe in. My husband thinks that no matter where we decide it's still in the will of God so he's leaving it up to us. Kind of like marriage I think most of us go into still having doubts but it's the love that makes you take that chance and work to build something. I know when we make a final decision I am going to leave off the critiques and complaints and do my best to fill what ever I think is lacking or be more accepting. I'm not always right right??? LOL! Honestly,truly I know I still have a LOT to learn. I am determined that is the tude I am going to take. I'm going to work it like I work my marriage with the same love and forgiveness.

Someone sent me a great link today I found it very helpful How to find a church

Here's a video from that blog I spoke of. I could so connect when he said God spoke to him and said you know I'm real and I'm more then this (Church service he was in.)




Here is a funny one from the same blog.

Dandy Day

It was a lovely lovely lovely day!





The kind of day that the sun seems to just sparkle off of everything. We spent most of it outside. The house smells like fresh air and flowers (we force flower bulbs all winter it gives us a bit of sunshine in the darkest of months).



This is our sweet kitty. We call her kitty,what we really named her, was lost a long time ago. She is the sweetest thing. Even though the kids hold her 24/7 she still hangs around near us and loves to be touched. At night after we put our kids to bed, she follows Chris and I up to bed where she runs around bouncing off things,like a maniac like she's trying to say yea I'm free no hands to carry me. We had hoped to keep her as inside cat but we couldn't too many people coming in and out. She would wait around the corner and literally wait for someone to open the door so she could sneak out. I'm so hoping we can at least keep her in at night because of the coyotes. I haven't heard them in a while but I'm sure they will be back.

sadly the horizontal pictures i have to small size or they get cut off.

Did you ever have days when you just do not even

want to attempt to be positive???
I'm having one of those days....
I could list all the reasons and they are reasonable but I won't. Instead I'm going to force myself to write 10 things I'm grateful for this week.

1. My mother in law calling me seeing how I was doing about my Dad. She made me cry. I swear she is one of the sweetest persons I know.

2. How good I felt after therapy yesterday. It's amazing how draining pain is. For a while yesterday I had a ray of sunshine.

3. The smell of my forced bulbs all lined up along my windowsills. The smell is just heavenly in my kitchen.

a capture taken this week



4. The songs of the birds. When we first build this house there were no birds seriously none. I don't know if the building scared them away or what. But now a few years and tons of birdseed later I have TONS of birds and I hear them even in the winter.

5.The smell of the fresh air... I love sleeping with my windows open again.

6. I am married to a man I truly love. That it never seems to get dull it just evolves through seasons.

7. for the mess.... there it is It drives me nuts specially having one gimpy arm. I'm having to scale back all my plans. But I know some day I will miss the crazy unexpected twisted busyness of life as it is now. Mess=life and we have PLENTY of that here.

8. For little people that come in the night for reassurance. That I'm the one that gets to hold them ,smelling sweet,warm and soft.

9.For a God who motivates me to love

10. I'm thankful that in remembering to be thankful I've become thankful. :)

A couple of Sebastian's B day. This was the family party in a couple of weeks we'll do his friend one.



This boy is such a geek. LOL He was way more excited to get a pad of paper,journals and books then he was for any of the "fun stuff" like his new bike. Seriously he asked for a stapler for Christmas. LOL

my Dad

Found some more pictures of my Dad from last summer when he was visiting. I'm really sad that I'm going to miss his memorial service tomorrow. We went down to visit him in March sadly he passed when I was in the airport on the way. I wish I lived closer. It was really nice to see my siblings and get to know Janie (dad's wife)a bit more. Still I would have liked to hear stories from his friends. He was an incredible character. I wrote a long blog post about him on my old blog http://linenphotography.typepad.com/ if you want to know more about him.




A couple of quick stories that crack me up and totally describe him. The day before he died it was biker week and all his buddies were there and he wanted to ride his Harley with them. You have to understand he was going through chemo and very sick. But that man had enough life in him to fight with everyone about riding his harley ,air tank and all. I guess he was super ticked that they fought him on it. My brother said he was intimidated by him because he got that "look" on his face. My father was such a fighter.

The second story says a thousand things. His neighbor who was elderly he would help when ever she needed it,even though I guess she bugged him a bit. My Dad was very bare bones he was what he was no phony if you bugged him you knew it. He didn't like people to prattle on either,not much of a talker well no much till he had a few in him.


Anyway.... After he died the neighbor visited Janie weeping saying "He was a B-astard, but he was our B-astard!" I love that story because I think it's so true that he could be so hard to live with made tons and tons of mistakes but he had a heart of Gold. He cared about people and would be there if you needed him. I knew that no matter what I could always call my Dad and he would be there for me. I said these things about him before he died and I wish I could have told him how much he means to me. I love my dad and wish I had more time with him. I'm so thankful he came to see us last summer.

This picture is so him. He was a ton of fun and loved people. When I was kid I used to think my Dad knew everyone. I know he left behind a ton of people who will miss him terribly.

Well it's happened again my darn arm. It's looking more and more like I might have to have surgery for it. It's a good thing I took a step back from shooting professionally. Chris has been kind of egging me on since we have someone who wants to run the business end (the part I stink at) and hire someone to do my processing (another spot I can get bogged down over I'm a perfectionist.). All I would have to do is shoot the part I like and the part I'm good at. Still I just do not want the stress in my life right now. It sounds nuts when you have people wanting to fly me in to shoot their family or wedding and I'm afraid they wont' like my work. But I truly do struggle with that it's really stressful for me. So I'm kind of glad that physically I can't even consider it right now. I had a friend tell me I'm afraid of success so I sabotage myself. Success can be scary. Maybe when I have less on my plate I'll feel up to it. :)
I've been playing around with nonpeople images. I never thought I would enjoy doing that but I'm starting to get intrigued.
one from today


It's been a slow week for homeschool. I was just into much pain for the first few days. I really was a grump and I'm ashamed of myself really. I never should have tried to muddle through without pain killers. Next week we'll get on the band wagon again. I plan on homeschooling through the summer,light schedule. I think we're going to keep it year round. A lot of what we do isn't consider school by my children and I like to keep it that way,but that is in fact what we are doing. I hope to have Francesca reading soon. We tried earlier this year but she wasn't getting into it. So I pulled back and now since she requested to learn I bet she will learn quick,just like Sebastian did.

Easter

Long time no blog... I'm kind of forced to be still today. Stupid physical stuff the kind of stuff you wish you had a mom to come and fuss over you. Wahhh.....
Finally going to post some pictures. We had a lovely Easter. It was a beautiful day that we started at the beach at sunrise (froze our bunzies off) and ended with flying our kites. Sad it was the first holiday that one of kids chose to spend part of it somewhere else....





















We made our baskets.


I adore that Ollie is still in the costume stage. I will be sad when I no longer have little ones that want to dress up.



Our Spring nature table. It is hard to tell but the flower is paper and the birds are vintage dictionary paper.




I didn't intend on having a seasonal mobile but each month this year we ended up making something that hangs in the window. This month is more vintage paper dictionary birds. It is really lovely and I'm sad I couldn't really capture that in an image.