I grew up with a weird mix of music but the men I listened to sounded like the men I grew up with big deep voices. My male influences I love love love Johnny Cash and Waylon(He sounds so much like my dad which is why I think I first started loving him.) and a lot of old blues. Female ,love singers like Etta James, Ella Fitzgerald etc... Since this music is black and white to Christian music, I've never acquired a taste for the voices in most christian music. Then style and lyrics I find most christian music pretty much the same thing over and over. The bible is a lot more then same subject beat over and over so why can't they write songs with more depth? There is all kinds of human experiences in there even sex so why don't we sing about all those different experiences?
I'm sure I'm offending people here but we are all entitled to our opinions right and this is just my opinion. I'll never forget how offended someone once was when I said most christian music sounds like the men have their pants on too tight,like I had said something sacrilegious or something. It's an opinion you can like that stuff, I find I have a heavy aversion to it.
I think part of my deep deep aversion is I was told early in my christian walk that Christians should only listen to christian music and there is soooo much christian music you can find something you like. This was said in the late 80 and 90's when there really wasn't a lot of variety and most of sounded like it went through some kind of Sneetch machine, still does. Now in fairness there is are some new artists that are coming out with more creative stuff. I find sometimes I will like some music if I can find the acoustic version of it before they add in all the elevator music effects. (Can you tell how much I "love" Christian music.) Anyway I swallowed that conviction before I looked at what I was eating and it caused me just to stop listening to music for years and years.
Which if you knew me ,really knew me it would be a red flag, a huge red flag. I've always been consumed by music. One of the first things my Dad mentioned upon first meeting my husband was how I was always singing as a child. I had music on 24/7. My kids are amazed at how many songs I know all the lyrics too. Chris laughed because he said I still sing ALL the time. So it's pretty sad that I disliked the music so much I just stopped listening to music,stopped singing for a while.
Then we started going to a church where things are not laid out in rules and boxes. Things were thought through and tested not just labeled. It cracks me up how people will watch things or do things I would never do but then they look down on my music. It's like it's an American Christian rule that thou shalt not listen to anything that isn't labeled christian. The ironic thing is I am actually more inspired towards meditating on God by music that isn't specify Christian. I can tell you I cried an entire summer over adele's make you feel my love because it just spoke so deeply to me of what God says he feels about me. Obviously other people related because when I sang it at church, talking about how it made me feel,there were a lot of eyes that didn't say dry. My favorite "worship" song right now is a love song. It perfectly fits how I feel about my relationship with God him/me and me/him.
So I started out trying to improve by singing worship music. I grew pretty quickly discouraged. It felt like I was forcing myself to eat vegetables all the time. Then I didn't care at all for how I sounded singing them either. It's funny leading music for church was kind of a weird thing. I still can't decide if I liked it or hated it. I hate being in the lime light with a passion,I think I almost got an ulcer that year. I did it because I felt God was asking me to do it. I felt so deeply that I wanted people to really worship. I knew I needed that deeply for refreshing and wanted to bring that to other people more deeply. I've only seen a couple of Cape Cod churches that people really get into the worshiping. I know people will take issue with this but part of it was the skill of the people leading. Just like good preaching it's always truth, but when you get someone who can connect with people it makes a huge difference in receiving. I also think people have to be taught to worship both by modeling and teaching. Do I think that it means that it has to be a certain kind of music or a high level of musical skill ,nope. Does it have to be a certain style yea in part I would. Which is why I think a service should be a bit of a mix so it's accessible to more people.
I started doing a lot of research when I was leading. It was interesting. I can see why people go to school to become worship leaders. Some people have a natural gift for leading worship but I also think it's a skill that you can learn. I get WAY more of the music then I do out of a sermon. Bible studies well that is the best food. I think the number one thing is be a worshiper yourself. It's not a performance but a ministry.
Of course that can be misleading sometimes. I was accused of making it a performance once when really all I was doing was giving it my all. Anyone who really knew me would never accuse me of that I'm so insecure about my singing. I know another worship leader accused of the same thing but I know him and it wasn't a performance. He just has a different style that they can not connect with. A friend of mine just happened to see the same worship leader doing a service on the beach and was blown away at how "real" he was. LOL !You can't connect with with all people all the time.
For instance the church we currently are attending the pastor's sermons really speak to Chris and I, our old church not so much. He gave great sermons,he was funny,personable we love the guy(whole family is tops!!) but we just didn't receive it as much a style thing. My teenagers could never connect with the our current church's preaching but they felt our old church really did. So they are old enough that we have decided to allow them to attend the old church. Their bible studies on the other hand completely revolutionized our lives. I could go on and on about why I love them. Number one though it's because they don't talk really at all but rather ask and get you thinking. It's really cool to see the bible from a lot of different people's perspectives it's easier to see how much bigger God is through that.
I think it's important to have good doctrine,connection with the style of teaching ,worship and fellowship. If you are very very blessed you will get all three. We're still in the middle of deciding what is most important to us(We don't feel God leading one way or the other ,wish we did.). In our dreams, we wish we could blend two churches LOL! Both awesome for different reasons,we're greedy enough to wish we could blend them. Which ever one we finally end up at we're going to miss the other terribly. We're taking such a long time because for us the decision will be like marriage we're going to stick to it,make a long term commitment. I'm kind of getting itchy to decide but since Chris is leaving it up to me,it's scary too. He doesn't want to force it because it's an important decision.
Back to the music ,I've started really working on my music last few months and I'm making some progress. Chris paid for a few voice lessons back when I was asked to lead. Over all I didn't really find them helpful but he did tell me I have a huge range I just had to learn to relax and access it. Being nervous can wreck havoc on your singing. I remember being put on the spot to hear a key normally I 'm really good (sure boosted my confidence when I could hear a key over trained musicians) but for some reason that time I couldn't hear it. My teacher said it was nerves, pure nerves I have to learn to drown out everyone but the music.
Anyway when we did scales I could sing lower then most men and hit all those high notes. Problem was I was told by laymen I couldn't sing high so super insecure me when I went for those notes when I was singing I would choke. Well I've been working on it and I'm starting to relax and access them more and more it's sooooo much fun! Now to work on doing it in front of people....
I going back to working on guitar. I started learning years ago in one of the bands I was in. Band didn't work out and it's a shame I didn't keep at it. I also started learning piano because we were leading a large children's church but again when we stopped I stopped. Stupid girl!
I thought if I can learn a few songs I might try doing one of the many open mike nights that are available on Cape. The kids do those and it's been a gentle way of getting over stage fright.
So super long post sorry... Music is my passion always has been it's just been tough over the years allowing myself to see what God would have me do. To have confidence in what he has placed in my heart vs anything people would tell me.
Doubt who you will but never yourself Christian n Bovee
No matter how people want to bend things,box them etc... God puts things on your heart for a reason,trust it. I've had to learn to hear his voice because it's a still small voice under the din of all the other voices.
A Still Small Voice
And he [the Lord] said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind and earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:I saw this interview a while ago I wish I could find it. It was Julie and Angus Stone talking about their life and music, it really touched me how supportive the people around them were of their dreams. I have had some of this I have to say Chris and the kids are amazing. I hope if you don't have this kind of support you become your own best supporter. The world will not be quite the same without, what you have to offer it.
And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.-- I Kings 19: 11-12 (KJV)
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