Day 3 I'm grateful for a wondering path

My grateful thought this morning comes from this story I heard a while ago.

"Architect Frank Lloyd Wright told how a lecture he received at the age of nine helped set his philosophy of life: An uncle, a stolid no-nonsense type, had taken him for a long walk across a snow-covered field. At the far side, his uncle told him to look back at their two sets of tracks.
"See, my boy," he said, "how your foot prints go aimlessly back and forth from those trees, to the cattle back to the fence and then over there where you where throwing sticks? But notice how MY path comes straight across, directly to my goal. You should never forget this lesson!"
"And I never did," Wright said, grinning. "I determined right then not to miss most things in life, as my uncle had."

I'm grateful for little kids who think different then we do. I am not a morning person seriously it takes me hours before I feel like the fog has lifted. I like things to run smoothly eat, get dressed,clean, school.
So it's hard when I wake up to chores not done(I HATE waking to mess!!!) and find that the littlest ones decided to paint.... with my paints.... Black everywhere..... (Darn it that I didn't take a picture I was just annoyed). Then Ollie comes down in my Dad's hat and at first I'm annoyed. He's in my stuff again!!! But then I look and he's so darn cute smiling under that big black hat. So it makes me take a step back think of my Dad then see the funny in all that happened this morning. Then Nadia just had to show me the Lol cats bible and well I remember how very grateful that kids take a wandering path and take me along.

I'm grateful for my oldest daughter Nadia

I'm thankful for my sweet daughter Nadia. She can be tough,she's strong willed I'm not. I know in a fight I would always want her on my side. She cares about people. I 've never seen her be intentionally unkind. She is a lot like her Nana who is incredibly sweet. She's funny in a sweet silly way. She's beautiful I think she looks like a fairy would look if they were real,she just needs a set of wings. She's artistic I think she's going to be a much better photographer then I am,she's has always had an eye. I remember being amazed at 12 when she won a design contest that all the other contestants were adults. We can't see all she will be,but just being what she is now is wonderful. I LOVE my sweet Nadia!

The above picture was taken by me last Saturday on our walk and Nadia liked it so she processed it her way.

A glimpse of our marriage

Seriously... well we try not to be serious... Chris has managed to get me to laugh in the middle of HUGE arguments and don't let me get started on how he uses that to his advantage. I can't help myself... I know sometimes I am just plain ridiculous and I like to laugh. Let me tell you ladies do not marry an intelligent man with a sense of humor. He's so quick to pick up on my rather humorous discrepancies and then point them out in a way I can only laugh and guess what.... he wins... fight over LOL!

Here is a pretty typical "conversation" He sends me a comic that he thinks exemplifies us,then we "discuss" it.

This is the comic he sent

our replies to one anotherI think Chris thinks our lives could be totally summed up by Arlo and Janis comics. I do have to say honestly we are sooooooo much like them it's weird and kind of cool.

365 days of being grateful

I am going to try to post at least once a day with a grateful post. A self help project... LOL!

My grateful thought this morning came from this quote which I just adore.

Away from the world and its toils and its cares,
I've a snug little kingdom up four pair of stairs.
~ William Makepeace Thackeray

I'm so grateful for our home it's refuge to come to when life gets me down. That I know I can always find a hug,an I love you and some encouraging words.

Fort Hill

We had a lovely day Yesterday at Fort Hill. I love the lower Cape it reminds me of the way the Cape was 25 years ago. A lot less people and much more serene. Here you can walk and only hear the distant crash of the waves, rustles and peeps of the forest. Nature soothes me like nothing else does,reminds me of my sweet Grandmother. She was wonderful to walk with. She knew all purposes and names of the things found in the forests. Best of all she knew the stories behind many of the names,lots of native stories. When she didn't know something she would bring home a sample,research it and remember for the next time. I miss her terribly....

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost

Show our resurrection

This blog Click here amazing...


These two posts from that blog posted below speak so greatly to me. I may never be the person I so desire to be I struggle so with many things. But I can show the wonder of the mercy he has for me for the power to grow,thrive,for courage to continue in my failures,my thorns in my side.

"Show me the power of Christ that has raised you with Christ, show me the power of marriages that thrive and the wonder of mercy for the prodigal sons. Show me your real sacrifice for the homeless , your radical love forsaking consumerism to free children oppressed by poverty. Show me the Dads who tenderly serve and show me the Moms who speak only soul-strengthening words and show us how to breathe the non-toxic air of grace and please, show our community the resurrection of the dead and disdained and discarded. In this post-Easter world -- show us your resurrection!"



show our resurrection

How We treat the weaker is our treating of Jesus

Mother's day

We had a lovely one. We spent the day driving around ,visiting our moms. It was a lovely day. It was funny when we were ordering lunch,Grandpa asked Sebastian what he wanted on his pizza,Sebastian said puke. Grandpa Keith never missed a beat and said in his super dry no nonsense voice "No,puke is not on the menu." We have the best family,Keith has a great sense of dry dry humor.
Ike and Nadia the pranksters... gave me some bubble wrap for stress relief and a card that mocked my tech abilities.


Later I realized they changed my Phone ring tone to Animal from the Muppets singing Happy B Day(it was my bday as well) and no I do not know how to change it back! LOL

Mothering

taken by Elliot Erwitt his wife and first child










The older I get the more I realize "I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all." -Laura Ingalls Wilder



I know I've posted that quote here before it's one of my favorites along with " The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched-they must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller

Mothering to me is the hardest work I've ever undertook and the most wonderful. If I had to do all over again I would in a heartbeat though some days I complain I wouldn't, I would with all my heart.

Often the work I do is done in quiet, rarely even realized but I try to remember how important it is. "All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."-- Abraham Lincoln
I never really had a Mom and I can tell you there are still days I long to be safe in Mommy's arms. I don't thing there is anything in this world that can make up for a lack of a mother's love. Mothers matter,what you do or don't do as a Mother matters more then we will ever fully appreciate here.
"So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." Galatians 6:9 I have a love hate relationship with that verse. LOL!




Today is your day moms and I hope the people you are loving, are loving on you today.

My New Life

Sometimes you watch a video and so moves you ,changes you,reminds you this video did that to me. I cried through all the chatter of my littlest one, a vole who had entered the house (who knows how),my middle child showing me his latest art work I stopped it ,started it and cried. I remember when her accident happened I would chat with the photographer who did the pictures you see on her wall. I remember everyone so sad over what had happened ,praying. Now years later I find her video,hear her story amazing...





I think God can touch through anything. Sometimes we disagree about doctrine. I disagree with quite a bit of Mormon doctrine. I think today that some of what I believed as an early Christian was false doctrine,yet God touched me there deeply. He is so much greater then then the boxes we put him in.

SO STINKIN sick of myself!!!!!

Sometimes I get so caught up in my junk I forget that other people have more troubles then me. Seriously my troubles are such crap. Wahh wahh wahh I can't find a church and I'm frustrated with the church crowd. Big deal....
I talked to two people tonight both with separate serious life changing things going on and my heart just wants to break. I HATE that people not any worse or more evil then me have in a weak moment made decisions that will effect them for a long long time if not a life time. It sucks!

I wish I had all the answers. I don't even for my own life. The only thing I'm sure of is I am greatly comforted,strengthened and guided by a relationship with God. I don't understand everything he does but really who would want a God they could understand? He wouldn't be much of God if I understood everything he is doing.

⁸ “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
⁹ For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

So I have lots of things that bother me for sure but the thing I've become also sure of is over the years of my relationship with God is I can trust him. It's not just that I've seen bad things eventually turn out good for me. There is that what does kill you only strengths you thing,you do not have to be a christian to learn from hard things , there is more and it's kind of hard to explain. This part might sound weird but I've talked to him and he's talked to me. He's so much more then church. Sometimes because of church or other people's influence on me, I have even had a wrong perspective of him. There were seasons where I talked ,cried ,screamed for answers from him and I didn't get answers. No neat little package of answers arrived. I've had Christian try to give me formulas for answers but I think our lives who we are ,who God is,isn't simple enough to have a simple formula. I think that is why a lot of things are left vague in the bible. I struggled through seasons of doubt. I don't know why he allowed that but through each season eventually he met me in his timing ,his way. Most of the time he talked to me through his word. I will be the first to say it is super dry to start out with but you develop a taste for and even a hunger for it. Please do not think I'm this deep scholar because I'm not. I just find sometimes I'll read a scripture and it will really speak to me,deep down even change me in a HUGE way.

Then there is nature how can doubt him being there. I feel like I can get a sense of him by looking at creation,it's amazing!!!!!





I think another way is I knew was I just felt. There have been seasons of just feeling washed with God's love and presence. Most of the time it isn't that way (I wish!), I feel him the most when I sing but it's different for everyone. Eric liddell (remember the runner from chariots of fire) said he felt God's pleasure when he ran. God is so much bigger then the boxes we put him in. He comes in all different ways to speak to us as individuals. It might sound weird to describe knowing him as a feeling but there are lots of times we just feel something. I think you would call it intuition like when we know someone is attracted to us, we need to be leery of someone, our child is getting into trouble,we just feel it ,know it.



Ok now I'm sure you think I 'm a total nut but I'm sure of his existence as I am of the nose on my face. I talk about this because he helps me so much I wish some how I could pass that on to everyone I know and everyone I love with out them feeling like I'm being pushy or judgmental. God doesn't think like men ,most of that judgmental crap is coming from people who have God in a box of either their own choosing or false prideful teaching. Jesus like I said before wasn't to kind to those stinkers,he hates that stuff ,yet there is so much from "God's People" that it is hard to even mention God without someone getting their back up. Not to mention all the "Christians" who do horrible things. All those things make me shy to talk of the thing that is the best in my life. It's a shame because it has been the most loving solid relationship I've ever enjoyed.

Ups and downs

I looked over this morning at my middle child while he was reading to my youngest two. I saw him with his head towards Ollie and thought Oh how sweet! Only to realize he leaned into him to teach Ollie to say I am a moron. Which Obviously Ollie had no idea of the definition of moron. He just thought it was some cool thing from the wimpy kid books.... Horrible mommy when I realized my mistake I started giggling and had to pull myself together to do my mother duty "Sebastian you should not.... "
It's so weird to watch the ups and downs of relationships. One minute they are the very best of friends then the next minute one is clobbering the other. Sometimes it's a heartbreak like today when Nadia and Francesca left Sebastian behind while they went to a friend's. Sebastian stayed behind and cried,it wasn't the first time. Sadly in this it's his faults that have been the cause but the hurt is still there. He can be rather difficult to manage sometimes so Nadia would rather not take him.
Ike and Nadia are the closest of friends so I know there is yet hope for this set of young ones. I remember Ike and Nadia arguing over whose turn it was to play house or army and they survived their ups and downs. There is a special bond when you grow up together it's a shame so many of us let that go wayside. I'm guilty. The older I get the more I'm convinced that relationships are the most valuable thing we have and I wish I had invested more in keeping them close. After all who else but my brothers remember tickling me till I peed my pants or and the issue with my Dad's steel toe boots "CAPISH!!!!!"





It was actually hot for a few hours today! I did a bit more yard work but then it started to rain on me. Kitty found the bumblebee so intriguing,you can just barely see the bee in the picture. She followed him all around the garden. Then started hollering for her boyfriend. Yes kitty has a boyfriend we've seen him and we are so excited to have babies!

Census and yard work

We had a visit from the United States Census this morning. It was interesting to see what questions had changed ( I think we did about 15 or so years ago). The country is changing. We're becoming even more of a melting pot then ever. Sebastian drew this cute picture of the census guy.

On thing I would like to know why is it always with out fail that someone comes on a day that we have started slow?????? Meaning I was taking a ten min break watching pride and predjudice (for the millionth time I love Jane Austen) while I drank my coffee before I cleaned up the breakfast mess or rather breakfast, plus Sunday mess. We're really lazy on Sunday and things tend to fall apart a bit. At least I had Sebastian reading to the little ones so we're doing "school". I invite the census man in and actually have to wipe a spot on the table so he can use it. Ughhhhhhh!!!!!! No one EVER comes when it's nice and tidy which it is most days I swear. :) .... well most days.... I'm not really a morning person.... but it's cleaned before noon that counts right?

Did some Yard work today it felt soooooo good to be outside working and making plans I'll take some pictures and add them. I'm so excited I have lilac bush. I have a list of plants and trees I want in my yard mostly wanted because of memories involving people so I'm slowly adding them in. I planted two this year, lily of the valley and lilacs ,both will have white blooms Can you believe Lily of the valley comes in different colors now? I want my house to have the feel of an old fashioned garden. I'm not there yet. I still buy a lot of annuals to fill in space and add color and slowly adding in the more expensive perennials,shrubs, and trees every year.

I come from green thumbs. My Grandmother had the most lovely gardens. I liked the lazy natural way her yard looked,like the plants had arrived there naturally. Most of the garden save the vegetable garden would indeed arrive on it's own each year. She usually only planted once! My mom's gardens look like Better Homes and Gardens and I'm not exaggerating. She spends hours each day. She has flowers the size of dinner plates. She digs up and puts in certain plants and bulbs through out the growing season, much more work then Grandma but oh so lovely.

Well I might have come from green thumbs but I didn't grow up with my mom so I'm on my own when it comes to figuring out things. Thank goodness for the internet. Most of my flowers and shrubs do ok but when it comes to grass...... I'm hopeless. I need to figure this out. I'm so sick of my sickly looking grass.

Chow for now be back with pictures (after I get the babies to bed) Sorry still didn't get any pictures. I forgot and then it started to rain. I will add in the census picture tomorrow I swear. LOL!

Inspired

Boy was I ever on a vent the last post. I think it was a combo of lots of pain,too much rain and cold and that time of the you know. I think the biggest thing is Chris and I are "discussing" churches and church hunting has been a sad kind of awful experience.

So I'm leaving that off and going to go on to more fun things. I been inspired lately I think I'm going to redo my decor slowly. Right now my house is very West Elm want to be-ish. I love simple uncluttered most of my walls are bare as are quite a few of my windows. I love things from nature showcased,like the driftwood I have mounted,shells etc... My base is the deep dark mahogany furniture against the greyish white walls. Right now my colors are all based around one wall in my living room that I painted almost a brick red only it has a lot of orange in it,kind of hard to imagine. Can't take a picture right now so it's about the color of this couch only richer.



I'm lusting over those log tables.... It's exactly the kind of nature things I like to mix in with the more modern simple things I have.



The rest of the colors are mustard yellow,choc brown,grey. Kind of sounds funky but it's simple understated. I HATE CLUTTER!!!! I'm forever being over run with clutter and fight against it constantly. 5 kids ,two adults in a simple cape house.... We have our basement decked out with wall to wall book cases and shelves and I still can't find the room for our stuff. So again I HATE clutter!!!!!! It's my WAR of all WARS against the darn CLUTTER!!!!

Got to run Chris is ready to hit the hay and so am I . I'll talk more sometime in the future... about what I want to change over to.